How to Know If Someone Really Wants to Get to Know You (or Just Wants Something From You)
Moving to a new country changes your life in a thousand ways.
You learn to order coffee like a local, you find your favorite spots, you survive the traffic, and you fall in love with the sunsets.
But there’s something almost nobody tells you:
Meeting new people is amazing… but it’s not always easy to know who genuinely wants to get to know you — and who is only there out of interest.
And when you’re a foreigner, that line becomes even blurrier.
So here’s a clear, honest, extended guide to help you understand intentions, read behaviors, and avoid wasting your emotional time on empty connections.
Step 1: Before meeting in person, analyze how they communicate
The way someone talks to you before the date is the first filter to know if it’s worth your time.
✔ Signs they truly want to know you:
They ask genuine questions about your life, your story, and your interests.
They reply consistently, without disappearing for days without explanation.
Conversations feel natural, relaxed, and pressure-free.
They don’t try to steer everything toward something physical or uncomfortable from the first minute.
They share personal details in a balanced way — not oversharing, but not hiding either.
Early red flags:
They ask too much about your country, as if you were a tourist attraction.
Everything revolves around stereotypes (“foreigners are like…”, “you people always…”).
They avoid any personal question.
They change the subject whenever it’s inconvenient for them.
They ask for “different” photos or make inappropriate comments.
They only reply when you text first.
If there are strange signs before meeting… the date rarely gets better.
Step 2: During the date, observe how they treat you — not just what they say
This is where everything becomes much clearer.
Good signs that they’re genuinely interested:
They actually listen. Not just wait for their turn to talk.
They look at you, not their phone.
They laugh with you, not at you.
They make you feel comfortable, not judged.
The conversation flows naturally without awkward or forced silence.
They respect your cultural limits (yes, even if you don’t get a local joke).
They include you in the conversation instead of dominating it.
Major red flags:
They only talk about themselves or their problems.
They keep checking their phone.
They complain about everything: the place, the weather, the service, their ex, the country — everything.
They make you feel inferior, confused, or out of place.
They make comments about your nationality or accent that aren’t actually funny… but say they’re “just joking.”
They seem more interested in you paying the bill than in knowing you.
This is where you need to ask yourself the key question:
Do I feel calm and genuinely connected, or am I just surviving the date?
Step 3: Watch what happens after the date
A lot of people act like they have good intentions during the outing… but the truth shows up afterward.
Good signs after the date:
They text you to check if you got home safely.
They bring up something you talked about during the date.
They suggest seeing you again without pressure.
They maintain consistent interest, not random messages here and there.
They show curiosity about you, not just your “foreign experience.”
Signs they’re not looking for anything real:
They only text late at night or when they’re bored.
They appear and disappear like nothing happened.
They never propose a plan — they expect you to initiate everything.
They treat you like an option, not a person.
They only want quick meetups, not real conversations.
What happens afterward says more than the entire date.
Step 4: Ask yourself how you feel
This seems basic, but many expats ignore it.
In a new country, emotions feel stronger: nostalgia, excitement, curiosity, and sometimes the need for company. It’s normal.
But the key question is:
How does this person make you feel?
Relaxed?
Confident?
Interested?
Or tense, confused, insecure, unsure?
If your body tells you “something isn’t right,” trust it.
Intuition doesn’t depend on the language.
Step 5: Learn to distinguish between real connection and superficial interest
Some people approach you because of…
curiosity,
ego,
interest,
status,
fantasy,
benefits,
or simply because you’re “new.”
And that’s okay — it happens everywhere.
But you’re not here to be someone’s temporary experience.
You’re here to live, feel, and connect for real.
A genuine connection feels like this:
it’s light,
it’s natural,
there’s no pressure,
it doesn’t make you doubt,
it doesn’t drain you.
If you have to overthink it, it’s not the one.
Step 6: And if you want to avoid empty connections from the start…
Meeting people as an expat can be amazing… or exhausting.
Sometimes you don’t understand the signals, sometimes things feel unclear, sometimes you don’t know if you should trust.
That’s why Crema Social exists.
A community built so expats and locals can:
meet without pressure,
connect transparently,
avoid the confusion of typical apps,
build real friendships,
feel part of something,
and create authentic relationships in a new country.
You don’t have to navigate alone.
You don’t have to guess intentions.
You don’t have to “try your luck” with people who don’t want what you want.
Here, you meet people who also want real connection.
No games.
No masks.
No wasted time.
