How to Escape a Date (Without Being Rude): A Guide to Spot Red Flags Early
Dating someone in another country can feel like a mix between a romantic movie and a survival mission (speaking from experience here).
New cultures, different languages, flirting styles you don’t fully understand… and suddenly, you’re sitting there thinking:
“How do I get out of this without looking like an idiot?”
If that’s ever happened to you, don’t worry — you’re not alone.
Here’s a WikiHow-style guide to help you spot red flags early and make a graceful (and dignified) exit.
Step 1: Sharpen your radar before the date
Most escape missions can be avoided if you pay attention beforehand.
1. Notice how they communicate.
If it takes them hours to reply but then they text as if you’re already dating — or they dodge personal questions — red flag.
Inconsistency is the first sign of smoke.
2. Pay attention to how you feel.
You don’t need a logical reason. If something feels off, trust that instinct. Sometimes your gut understands the language better than you do.
3. Skip the movie-style expectations.
Not every first date in Medellín will end with a sunset at Pueblito Paisa. Sometimes it’s just coffee — and that’s perfectly fine.
🚩 Step 2: Spot the red flags in real time
You’re on the date. Everything seems fine… until it’s not.
Here are a few signs — from a guy’s perspective — that things might not be worth forcing:
1. She only talks about herself.
Sharing is one thing, but monopolizing the whole conversation is another.
If it’s been 20 minutes and she hasn’t asked a single question about you, chances are she’s not really interested.
2. She’s glued to her phone.
Nothing kills the vibe faster than someone checking notifications every 30 seconds.
If she’s more into Instagram than your conversation, the message is pretty clear.
3. She complains about everything.
The place, the weather, the coffee, the traffic…
If nothing makes her happy, odds are you won’t either.
4. She makes inappropriate comments.
From weird jokes to little digs about your accent or outfit — you’re not there to justify who you are.
5. The energy just isn’t there.
No flow, no laughter, no spark. Sometimes it’s not “bad,” it’s just nothing, and forcing it only makes things worse.
Step 3: How to escape (without drama)
Alright, the moment has come. You want to leave, but don’t want to look rude.
Here are some tried-and-true strategies:
1. Use a natural excuse.
Mention you have another commitment, a call coming up, or that you have an early morning.
No need to invent a Netflix-level story.
2. Have a “Plan B” ready.
Ask a friend to call you at a specific time. (This one’s a classic — and definitely the one I’d use.)
If the date’s going well, ignore the call. If not… “Oh, I have to take this real quick!”
3. Go to the bathroom (and breathe).
A short break can help you think. If you’re really uncomfortable, let the staff know — they can help you call a taxi or step away safely.
4. Keep the goodbye short.
Avoid saying “Let’s do this again” if you know you won’t.
A simple “Thanks for the time, it was nice meeting you” is more than enough.
5. Put yourself first — guilt-free.
Leaving a bad date doesn’t make you rude, it makes you mature.
You don’t owe anyone your time if you’re not feeling it.
Step 4: Learn for next time
Every bad date is a small cultural and emotional lesson.
Next time, you’ll spot the subtle signs sooner — and you’ll also know what kind of energy you actually want around.
“Not every connection is worth keeping. And that’s perfectly okay.”
Step 5: If you want to avoid bad dates altogether…
Living abroad means navigating new ways of connecting. Some dates are great; others leave you wondering, “What just happened?”
At Crema Social, we believe meeting new people shouldn’t feel like jumping into the unknown.
Our platform helps you connect in real, safe, and meaningful ways (no emergency exits required ).
So before you plan your next date, remember:
Learn to read the signs.
Don’t ignore your intuition.
And only say yes when you truly mean it.
